somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
