My friends, they love my intelligence
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
