She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Everclear isn't food dammit
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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