Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
