Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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