Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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