Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
