Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
