Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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