it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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