i used baking grease as lip gloss
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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