Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Redeem this text for a blowjob
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
