i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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