I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
