we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We need to get me chipped asap
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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