Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
