I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
