She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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