U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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