if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
