Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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