sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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