So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
