you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
