Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i came on her dog
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
