And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
