meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
