Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
