what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
