fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
