This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
