it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize