Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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