Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I want her autograph on my taint
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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