ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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