If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
