R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
