And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
