we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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