My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
