how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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