Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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