a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
