Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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