Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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