everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
His nipple licking is glorious
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