Have you finally orgasmed yet?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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