So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
