Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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