Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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